Nothing says Freebird like the ocean

One of my favorite things in nature is a rocky, craggy seashore kind of like the one pictured here.

I love walking along the rocks especially as the tide is going out looking for whatever the sea has left behind. Starfish, seahorses, shells and all sorts of things are often floating among the rocks.

Unfortunately, there is sometimes trash left behind as well.

There's something about the ocean that arouses my curiosity. It's deep and mysterious, and almost unending. There's no telling what is lurking in the deep, blue water.

I love listening to the waves crash into the shore, seeing the white splash and feeling the mist.

I also love watching the ships come and go. Anything from a small, private boat, to a yacht or a shrimping boat, I love to watch them struggle against the ocean.

I grew up not too far from the sea. Granted, it was South Padre Island and there were no rocky, craggy shores. But, there were sandy beaches and those were fine, too.

In my childhood, there was almost nothing on South Padre other than campgrounds. Now, it looks like Miami Beach or some other beach resort.

We had many a campout on the beach.

One of my favorite beach campouts was with my Sunday School class. All the boys went with our teacher and the poor man tried sleeping in the back of his station wagon.

The boys and myself stayed up the entire night. That was my first experience staying up all night long.

We did pretty much everything we could think of that and got yelled at a couple of times by our teacher for moving his car or making too much noise. It was a blast.

The only constant was the unending waves crashing onto the beach.

I did go to sleep in the car on the way home and slept most of the morning at home. But, it was well worth it.

There were other great camping memories, but I don't have all night. :)

Another fond recollection of South Padre was the time in 2005 that my California Girl and I stayed at the Radisson. It was in December and there was a rare cold front. The night air was cool, but we left the sliding door open all night and slept to the sound of the waves.

Of course, my Cali Girl doesn't like Texas and thinks Texas beaches are subpar. But, we made do.

We luckily ran across a school, or pod, of dolphins and the Cali Girl just went wild watching them.

Very good seafood, too, on the island and I love seafood.

There's just something about the sea that makes me feel free.

Finally, it has happened

Even before the movie Pay it Forward came out I made up my mind to do good deeds for other people.
It was a goal of mine to give somebody some help with something at least once every day. In that way, I could make some sort of a difference in this world.
A good deed can be anything from jump starting somebodies car, to taking out their trash or any other number of things.
One day a man was struggling to load plywood in his truck with a heavy wind in his face and he looked shocked when I came up and just started helping him out.
I don't think he even bothered with a thank you. But, that doesn't really matter because I am going to go ahead and do the right thing.

However, having said that, there still lurks in the back of my mind that I had always thought that by doing this not only would I be helping others first hand but would help create an attitude of kindness in people that would spread into other's lives and I'd see an affect.
Not so much.
I can't tell you how many times I have been in a parking lot of a place like Lowe's and to be struggling with heavy things only to see healthy people walk by without a single thought of anything but themselves.
Again, I am telling myself that it doesn't matter and I will continue with my mission.

But, finally, after so many years, the unthinkable has happened.

The other night, I was having to install a water heater. Easy enough project, but it was getting late and I was in a hurry to finish so I could go home.
I had a water heater on a dolly in one hand and a bunch of tools to get the job done quickly and efficiently. Well, I went over a curb and the water heater which was still in the box from the factory fell over.
I went ahead and left it in the parking lot and took my tools to the old water heater space. When I looked again, there was a man that I had never seen before picking up the water heater. I wasn't sure at first what he was up to, if maybe he might be trying to steal it or whatever. He was no thief, but was instead helping me and said that I had my hands full when I dropped it.
I thanked him more than a few times and now I am more dedicated to my mission than ever. There are still good people out there.

Today, as you are going about your life, please look for opportunities to help somebody out. You never know what kind of difference you might make in somebodies life.

Fandango

Ha! Anyone that has known me a long time that might be reading here should have known that it was just a matter of time before I wrote something about one of my all time favorite movies. This is definitely one of my favorites and I've seen it many times. Perhaps I am a little unhealthy mentally?
I believe that anyone that has no 'ties' to this movie could believe it's very average or forgettable but to me this movie is huge.

Fandango is basically about 5 college roomies, the groovers, that take off on one last adventure before they are forced to move on with their lives.

But, let me tell you what it means to me.

Most of my life I have been absolutely obsessed with Viet-freaking-nam.
As early as elementary school I can remember coming inside the house in the evening and the world news would be on. Nightly, they had a death count or report on what was going on in Vietnam. I never said anything to anyone but deep in my heart I just knew that I would wind up in Nam. Junior High kept those feelings going as anti-war marches made the news almost nightly.
Fortunately, by the time I was in high school, Vietnam was winding down and obviously I never had to go.
By that time, I had developed an interest in why this war happened. Why we were there and the meaning behind all of this.
That interest remains to this day. I have probably seen every Vietnam movie, read books on it and learned as much about it as I could and it still remains a mystery in a lot of ways.

Fandango is set in 1971 and the students are attending the University of Texas. The war was going strong and a couple of the main characters had been drafted into the military.
One of the biggest issues of the day was to serve or not to serve. Lots of young men ran off to Canada so they didn't have to fight.
3 out of the 5 in the movie were involved with the war. One was going for sure and proud of it, it was his future. Another character was indecisive and the third was definitely going to slip off to Mexico during the movie.
Most of the movie was about their conflict with one another over this issue. But, one big event drew them all closer together and changed their outlook. If you haven't seen the movie, you'll just have to watch to see what I am talking about.

Make no mistake about it, Vietnam was a poor man's war. It wasn't like World War II where the entire nation was behind the war. It was more like an Iraqi conflict where there was a lot of argument over why we were even there.
The poor kids, whether white skinned, or black, or any other race, fought this war. The rich kids got out of it, the fortunate sons as sung by Creedence Clearwater Revival.
I was a poor kid, so I would probably have been drafted if things hadn't changed. I'm pretty sure I could not have run off to Canada because I would have feared that more than getting shot at by the North Vietnamese.
Some of the men that I have met through the years that went to Vietnam were treated like garbage when returning home. Some people spit on them, some called them baby killers and other such names and generally made them feel like second class citizens.
It was a far cry from WWII treatment of veterans.

The symbolism in this movie is unreal and the manner in which they behaved was done so well it reminded me of when I was back in those days. I was younger than these guys, but we behaved in much the same way.

When I watch a movie like this, I think if I had been born just a few years earlier I would have been in Nam.
And, because of that, I also consider myself a fortunate son.

Things I've learned from dogs

Well, I basically learned one major thing. Love. Maybe I should have titled this, the thing I learned from dogs.

A dog is just going to love you no matter what, a true picture of unconditional love. No matter what kind of day you have had, you can count on your dog loving you. No matter how other people treat you, your dog is going to love you.

You can call your dog names or even mistreat them in other ways and the dog keeps coming back with love. Not that I have ever mistreated a dog.

Not only that, but a dog just wants to spend time with you. Quality time is what they like to call it now, but a dog is just happy being around you.

They love a good scratching. Hey, I love a good scratching. They love to be pampered and so do I.

A dog will beg for food, pretty much in line with what I would do. A dog, no matter what size, is probably going to be protective of their people.

A dog is always going to smile when he or she sees you. You can count on that.

A dog is also going to lick your face if they can.

Other than licking your face, I want to treat people as if I were a dog.

I've got that sitting thing down pretty well, and I can shake with the best of them. Rolling over isn't the easiest trick I can do, but I can give it a good shot for the right treat.

But, seriously, if you want to treat people the way they want to be treated probably need to look no further than a dog.

The Fall

I love the Fall.

I think it's easily my favorite time of the year for a number of reasons.
One reason I love the Fall is due to my great love of football and particularly college football. But other than great gridiron action, Fall also brings around cooler weather. It means the end of another long, hot summer and is a gateway to the holidays.
The leaves changing colors from green to various shades of reds and yellows is always incredible. Even here in less than beautiful West Texas we have some Fall color. It won't exactly make you think of New England, but there is some beauty here. You just kind of have to drive around and look for it sometimes.
The problem is there are so many mesquite, pecan and live oak trees and they just don't cooperate with my agenda. There are just enough red oaks, ornamental pears and other trees that give us just a taste of the beautiful Fall colors that others get to witness yearly.
People here that were thoughtful enough to plant some of the right trees in their yards years ago have my deepest gratitude. Unfortunately, there are a lot of yards that are completely barren of trees.
I've personally planted more than 25 trees in this town and I plan on planting more before I leave. Hopefully, somebody in the future will be grateful for my contributions.

Fall also means Halloween.

Halloween means candy. Hard to get enough candy, but I give it a shot every year.
Actually, I have kind of lost my taste for candy lately.

After Halloween one of the better holidays is soon to follow.

But, another Thanksgiving has come and gone. Nothing but leftovers remain and some more memories.

Of our kids, only Tyler came bringing with him his buddy, Jeromy, but they have already left. We also had Amy over to watch the Texas game and were fortunate to have her over the previous night as well. The girls are way off and it feels a little funny being just the two of us now in the holidays. I do count my blessings that I have my California Girl.

Of all the Thanksgivings, this has been one of the stranger ones. I believe it's because of the changes going on in our lives right now. Too many changes at the same time has made this a strange season in our lives. But, just as the seasons change and the sun comes up tomorrow, life goes on.

Tomorrow, I plan on going out and taking a few pictures of the leaves and enjoying the season while it lasts. That's one thing I probably didn't do enough of when our kids were little. Your children can be kind of like leaves.

In the spring, like the leaves, the children come as babies. In the summer they mature and become teens. In the Fall, they become adults. In the winter of your life, they leave making you wish you had known them better and longer.

Tara, Aspen and Tyler, I wish I had known you better and longer.

Tell Me All Your Thoughts On God

This is a very confusing song by Dishwalla, but one that really makes me think.
So, tell me, what are your thoughts on God? This is possibly the most controversial and discussed subject since the world began. Even people with similar thoughts can't really agree.

I'll tell you some of my thoughts. Sorry Amy.


Protector.

I haven't been beaten up since the 7th grade. Probably could have been, but either nothing happened, or we got broken up pretty quickly, or I clocked the guy.
Not to bring street fighting into the discussion, but in a way I look at God as my gang leader. That is if I was actually in a gang, God would be the main man.
When things get hard, he comes in and takes control and saves the rest of the gang.

So, what happens when that doesn't happen?
You get the snot beaten out of you and left decimated. That's pretty much where I am now. It wasn't a street fight, it was life, but where was that protection when I needed it?
Where do I go from here? I survived life's mauling, but could have used that protection and begged for it. Maybe since I am still alive and kicking, I actually was protected and have learned and grown from it.
Could be.
I learned a lot more from getting whipped in the 7th grade than I did from whipping others later and I was determined to not let that happen again.
Maybe that's where faith comes in. Your protector sometimes lets you fight and when the enemy is about to kill you, then he steps in and breaks it up.

Creator

OK, this one is pretty hard to get around.

Evolution? Big Bang Theory?
Neither of those theories make any sense. There has to be a better explanation and after years of thinking on it, God is the only explanation that makes sense. But, even that has some holes in it for some. Dinosaurs? Age of the planet?
I offer no explanation and, hey, I asked for your thoughts on God and don't give me any lip on my own.
Somebody offer up a better explanation of how I, and the rest of you, got here and I am all ears.

Provider.

I have never lacked and on this Thanksgiving Day I am very grateful for that.


Heaven or Hell.

If they exist, and I believe they do, I sure as hell don't want to go to Hell.
Texas is hot enough. Sheesh, can't imagine spending my eternity in someplace hotter than Texas.


In the song by Dishwalla, the singer is asking many questions like children often do.
Before life hits, children are innocent and full of questions.
That's what I long for. A time when I had nothing but hope, and I was innocent and full of questions. In my weak interpretation, the singer wants to know God and wants to know why we are here. He wants to know if he is far away. Typical kid things.

So, this song makes me think of being a little kid.
It makes me think of throwing rocks, watching birds fly, insects crawling, and locusts making their noises in trees. Just looking at the world in awe and wondering how in the world all this happened.
In my heart, I am still a child looking for reason behind all of this.

How did all of this happen?

The Appalachian Trail

Always, it has been a dream of mine to hike this trail from top to bottom. Or, bottom to top, all 2175 approximate miles of it.

Maybe not always have I dreamed of it, but since I have been an adult.

I'm not getting any younger and circumstances seem to hinder me from fulfilling this dream.

Wonder what the record for the oldest hiker is?

However, if I wait and set the record when I am 90 years old, I am not sure my feet will hold up.

I suppose I inherited my desire to travel from my parents. When I was a child, my parents loaded up us kids and the Coleman trailer and we headed out. East one year, west the next, and then back east again. We probably saw about 40 to 45 of the states that way and I have seen some of the rest since then.

I still haven't been to Oregon, Hawaii and Alaska but I'm eager to go. I believe my parents finally made it to all of them.

I do marvel at us surviving those trips, two adults and four kids cramped in a car for two weeks on end, but I have a lot of fond memories of them as well.

Funny thing about our family is we liked to repeat things. First year we went East, we stayed at some places where we really had a great time. When we went back the year after next, we just had to stay at some of the same places again.

They were never as good the next time and we were always disappointed. Guess you just can't go back.

One of my favorite memories was the very first mountain I ever saw in my life. It was in Tennessee and was just a foothill, but it started a life time of fascination with mountains. I thought it was the most incredible sight I had ever seen.

Soon after, we visited Lookout Mountain, Tennessee where you could supposedly see 7 states at the same time. It was a tourist trap, but I loved it anyway.

Also, in Tennessee, there were springs everywhere and just coming out of the side of a mountain.

At about the same time, I saw my very first black bear along the side of the road begging for food from travelers.

We drove from Texas to Florida and then up to Maine. Absolutely loved the Appalachian Mountains and most of everything else we saw.

The following year, I saw the Rockies.

I was in love and it's a wonder I never moved there. Thinking back on it, kind of ticks me off that I didn't make a huge move like that. I'm a weenie.

Lots of incredible memories. Some bad moments as well, but I tend to remember the better times on the road.

Kind of makes me think of my brother Roger, too, which makes me a little sad. But, I am sure he enjoyed himself, too.

Aw, back to the Appalachian Trail. I know good and well I am never going to make it. But, I've sure enjoyed dreaming about it.

Trail food would get old anyway.

More on travel later, but as Thanksgiving approaches my thoughts go to things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my family and the good times we experienced. Wish Roger was here, but think of all the wonderful Thanksgiving holidays when he was.

Happy Thanksgiving.

The Road Less Traveled

Cool poem by a poet that I like very much, Robert Frost. Actually the title is the Road Not Taken, but has been called The Road Less Traveled by some.

The road less traveled works better for me.

As I've already blogged, I think of myself as a free bird. I like traveling.

Flying is fine but you can't see anything along the way. The final destination is not the only thrill of seeing the world.

Most people take the interstate and that's fine. No stops along the way unless you absolutely want to stop is certainly appealling if you are trying to get somewhere quickly.

Myself, I like to take the road less traveled.

Some of my favorite vacation memories are driving cross country and looking at a map and just taking off on a lessor known highway.

There is almost nothing between Texas and California on the interstate highways. But, there are hundreds, if not thousands of beautiful sights along the way on the back roads.

The White Mountains of Arizona are breathtaking but not accessible from interstate highways.

I'll still take interstates because of time restraints, but given the choice, I'll take the road less traveled every time.

Conquistador

A conquistador was a Spanish soldier back in the 1500s when they came to the New World. The word itself means conqueror and that is exactly what they did.

I don't plan on getting into treatment of native peoples or anything else, just that they conquered what is now Mexico and South America.

I was about a 5th grader when Boyd Baker moved to my town. Until I moved away at the end of my 7th grade year, we were pretty inseparable.

Boyd had an older sister named Francis that was the talk of the town. She was several years older than us and every high school boy wanted to date her, probably including my oldest brother. She was on a completely different level than the trashy boys from down the street so my brother had zero chance.

Now, she was pretty incredible looking from my memory, but she treated me like a was the south end of a north bound horse.

One insult I remember vividly was just being in their house hanging out with my friend and she came in, and upon seeing me said, "I thought I smelled something."

Ouch.

I'll never forget the day she came in all excited because she had bought a new record. It was an album of Procol Harum with their new hit song 'Conquistador'.

The year was about 1971 or 1972, but it's still one of my favorite songs to this day.

Every song of this time period has been accused of being a metaphor of this or that. Conquistador is no different.

Supposedly, this was an anti-war song with the war in Vietnam still going strong. Vietnam was the subject of the day and possibly the fear of every young man in this country back then. I had no doubt that I would end up there and I will blog about that some day. But, fortunately for me, it ended before I came of age.

I'm not really sure what purpose the writer of this song had in mind. Maybe he was a history buff and just thought he might plug the words into a really catchy tune.

I don't know and I am not convinced it had a larger meaning.

Conquistadors were usually looking for fame and fortune. They were looking to conquer new places. Some of them were successful and some died in the process.

Some returned to Spain as a hero.

Folks probably haven't changed all that much.

People today are still looking for fame, fortune and conquering new places. Some are successful, but a lot more fail.

Still we continue trying to conquer new worlds.

Just remember as you are going out there to conquer new worlds to be nice to the little boy down the street. He may grow up and write a blog about you. :)

Shawshank

Wow! What can one say about this flick?
The words at the top of the picture pretty much sum it up for me. "Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free."

I didn't sleep for over a year, at least not without help.
Fear tends to keep you up nights. You see, I was a prisoner and I wasn't even behind bars.

Pardon my grammar, but I ain't afraid anymore and I sleep like a baby these days.

Hope has returned and along with hope comes freedom.

This awesome movie is full of incredible lines.

One of the best is 'get busy living, or get busy dying.'
Pretty much sums up life, that is if you want to actually have a life. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get out there and do something.

Or, how about 'hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies'.
It's hard to improve on that. Hope can never die in us. We just can't let it.

Another line that I like is 'that's the beauty of music. They can't take that away from you'.
Music, like hope, is in your heart. You can choose to have a song in your heart just as you can choose to have hope and be free.
No matter how tough things get, they can't take those things away from you unless you let them.

Shawshank Redemption has been voted one of the top movies of all time. Yet, it only broke even at the movie theatres. Not sure what that says about movie goers.

If I ever need something for a quick fix for my attitude, Shawshank's not a bad way to go. Just pop it in the DVD player and here comes a shot of hope.

Shawshank can't take away your fear. That you have to do on your own.
Another line from the movie was made by the main character's best friend, Red, and he said 'hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane'.
Yes, but only if that man is a prisoner of fear. It wasn't until later that Red was able to get busy living and put aside the dying.

Famous Amos

I've never really known whether she liked the nickname I have for her. Maybe she told me one way or another and I didn't bother listening. But, as long as I have known her and known about her imaginary sister, I have called Amy Ashorn 'Famous Amos'.

A few things about the Famous one.

Since she was a little girl and not quite so famous she became part of my family and still is to this day.
My family is spread out throughout the planet, but Amy remains a part.

She went with us on family vacations and has seen me blow a gasket, or two, and still loves me. Once, I really blew a gasket and was ready to beat a guy to a bloody pulp, but that didn't scare off Amy. She still remains a family member.

Famous Amos is not my only nickname for her.

For a while, when she was much younger, I called her Julia. Something about the way she looked reminded me of Julia Roberts. Yes, the Julia Roberts of Pretty Woman fame.
I also called her Crazy Carport Head briefly because of an ugly accident she once had where her head hit our carport while she was riding in the back of a pick-up driven by our daughter. You could hear the bang when she hit her head from a long way off and blood was flowing everywhere. That is one hard headed young lady because there was no permanent damage.

There may be a nickname I've forgotten about by now and I have slept a bunch since then.

She still has an imaginary sister.

All kidding aside, I am very proud of Amy. She came from a very humble background and I hope she is not bothered by my words, yet managed to graduate from UT quite easily and is doing something that will make a difference in the community.
How many of us do things that make a difference?
She's been through some tough times and managed to hang on and come out all right.
She always has a kind of word for me whether I deserve it or not.

She is also one of the brightest people I know.

Did I mention she has an imaginary sister?
I'm not sure how long she can continue with that act but it's been going on a while.

So, Amy, if you happen to read this I am glad you are part of my family and I am so glad you are in my life and I love you very much just as my own.

Hook em!

Midnight Train to Georgia

Thanks to Face book, I reconnected to an old friend in the last couple of days and he said my blogs were melancholy. So, this will be the last of this type for a while, hopefully.

I just have to get this off my chest.

As I was working my little life away today, I heard Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight and the Pips and that brought up a lot of feelings for me.

I've always loved this song and I like Gladys Knight, Aretha Franklin, Diana Ross and all those first ladies of soul.

The guy in the song had big dreams and went to Los Angeles to fulfill them. But, he didn't. After failing, he bought a train ticket and headed back home where he understood life.

This sounded familiar to me. Except my dreams were in Austin and my train was a GMC Yukon and my Georgia was Abilene, Texas. I didn't leave at midnight.

I tried. I failed. Then, I bailed out for a life I understood.

But, hey, don't feel sorry for me. I am actually enjoying myself for the most part. We miss Austin, but a move was necessary and the work is for myself.

We have a little more control over our destiny here than we did down in Austin and the owner's touch to the business was much needed.

I enjoy what I do with the business. There are plenty of other things I am enjoying such as no traffic, short drives between jobs, and the quiet of a smaller town.

Still, it's hard to fight back feelings of failure at times. I was so very close to making it to another level only to have everything ripped away. My dreams were in my grasp. I had plans on what to do next and my next level of goals and dreams were starting to form.

But, I lost and I got beaten down.

Back here in Abilene, I am regrouping and reshaping another dream.

I'm just not sure what that might exactly be yet.

But, I've always been a dreamer and that can't change.

Here are the words from the immortal Gladys:

L.A. proved too much for the man,

So he's leavin' the life he's come to know,

He said he's goin' back to find

Ooh, what's left of his world,

The world he left behindNot so long ago.

He's leaving,On that midnight train to Georgia,

And he's goin' backTo a simpler place and time.

And I'll be with himOn that midnight train to Georgia,

I'd rather live in his worldThan live without him in mine.

He kept dreamin'That someday he'd be a star.

But he sure found out the hard way

That dreams don't always come true.

So he pawned all his hopesand he even sold his old car

Bought a one way ticketTo the life he once knew,

Oh yes he did,He said he wouldBe leavin

On that midnight train to Georgia,

And he's goin' backTo a simpler place and time.

And I'll be with himOn that midnight train to Georgia,

I'd rather live in his worldThan live without him in mine.

Go, gonna board, gonna board,

Gonna board the midnight train.Gotta go, gonna boardGonna board

Gonna board the midnight train

Reflections of My Life II

As I blogged earlier, I love this song from the 60s. Although this song is not about going home, several lines in the song say 'take me back to my own home.'

Makes me think about home.

Now, where exactly is that?

My family spent some of my early years in the Rio Grande Valley. I never liked it down there all that much for a lot of reasons, but I have a lot of fond memories as well of those times.
We later moved to Central Texas.
I've also lived on the Gulf Coast, Irving, Abilene, Austin and now back to Abilene, but where exactly is my home?
If I were visiting another part of the world and somebody asked me where I was from, I would say Austin, Texas. But, even Austin does not feel like home. last weekend we were there and I felt like a visitor.

They say all kinds of things about the home, 'like home is where the heart is. Or, home is where you lay your hat'.
Robert Frost said, "Home is the place where, when you have to go there,They have to take you in."
Some other interesting quotes about home include:
Home is a shelter from storms - all sorts of storms. ~William J. Bennett
Where thou art - that - is Home. ~Emily Dickinson

Home is a great thing and you don't have to be a homeless person to appreciate it. But, is where you live your home?
By my last count, I have moved seventeen times, so would I consider any of those dwellings my home?
Maybe I will move seventeen more times in my life and I am ok with that.
Do I really have to have a dwelling that I call home? Do I need a city to call home? Or, a region, or a state?

I'm not sure.

It's always been a fantasy of mine to be mega wealthy and own several homes in completely different parts of the world. I would spend equal time at each of them.
So, I don't consider myself tied to any one area or place.

This all goes back to my first blogs where I declared a yearning to be a free bird.

If a physical address or city is home for you, then I am happy for you.
But, I guess I can say that home for me is being with my California Girl no matter where we are or what we are doing.

Big Fish and Tyler Taylor

Strange flick.

I like movies and a lot of them hold special meanings for me.

Big Fish is a movie that happens to mean a lot to me. I watched it when it first came out in about 2003 and felt kind of odd afterwards.

The movie is about a man and his dad, their strained relationship and the end of the dad's life. The dad has all kinds of stories and tells them often. The son resents his dad because of the stories.

He thought the dad was full of baloney all those years but followed up and found the stories to be truthful. The people he talked about in his stories were real.

It changed dramatically how he felt about his father.

I wasn't sure why I felt odd about the movie the first time I watched it. My own dad had passed away not all that long before this movie and because of that I felt a little weird about the ending of Big Fish.

But, my dad was not a story teller. I knew basically nothing about him and still have a lot of questions.

I watched it again recently and got a different message.

Unlike my dad, I am a bit of a story teller. I wasn't at all until my son was born and I had to learn to tell stories just to get him to go to sleep at night.

I didn't remember any fairy tales, so I just made up my own and I would like to think that they were good.

I'm not sure what my son is going through right now. I hope he doesn't resent me for telling him a bunch of stories like the son in the movie. But, I would like to be close to him at this time and we are really not.

I hope he would not feel resentment or anything else negative if he were to read this.

My father and I were never close and I don't want the same thing with my own son. Yet, there is little I can do now to change things. Unfortunately, you can't go back in time and sometimes I'd really like to.

I look at my nephew's Justin and Clay and I feel they were close with their dad. I long for that with my own son.

So, in the end, it's not whether I can tell a story or not. When all is said and done, this movie to me is about my own relationship with my son and how I long for more.

It'd be kind of cool if Tyler were to read this and give me a call.

But, life isn't that simple sometimes. Both sides have to want it and I don't want it to be like the movie and that to be on my deathbed.

Jake Locker, pro rassling and Santa Claus

So, what do Jack Locker, pro rassling and Santa Claus have in common?

None of them are real.

Oh sure, there really is a Jake Locker and he is the QB at the University of Washington. I started watching him a little last year and thought he had the potential to be really good. I wanted Jake Locker to be good.

First of all, he's got a really cool name.

I always wanted to be a Jake. I think it's one of the best first names for a guy out there and probably have thought so since the classic John Wayne movie came out way back when, Big Jake.

Secondly, he's got a set a wheels on him that not a lot of QBs can match.

He's also got a pretty strong arm.

But something's not right and he's not the real deal that I wanted to believe in. Washington has had a horrible season and the Qb is at least partly responsible for that.

I was not going to use football a lot in my blogging but I love the game and couldn't resist at least one blog involving college ball.

Rassling, now, that is a hoot. Maybe not so much anymore, but back in the day it sure was fun to watch.

Classic good guy versus bad guy.

Fake as a rubber snake.

I remember as a young fellow wanting so much for rassling to be real. Ulitmate warriors fighting for supremacy inside the ring night after night.

Always knew it was fake but hoped it was real.

Not much needs be said about Santa, but what little kid doesn't want there to be a Santa? Who can remember being crushed when they found out the truth? That we had been sold a bill of goods. Hoodwinked.

I can.

Some things are obviously not real. But, in life, sometimes it's really hard to tell what is real. Sometimes, it's hard to tell what to believe in.

Confusing times for me because at this time I am no longer sure what is real and what to believe in.

I believe in God. Just not so sure about some of his fan club. Not sure why he allows some of his folks to suffer sometimes. Doesn't feel like he cares about us sometimes.

I could go on and on about that and might never have an answer. But, as for people, how does one determine who is for real and who is not. Or, who is out to rip you off? Who is out to take advantage of you when you have nothing but good things in your heart?

Are they going to be there for you when times get hard?

For me, they weren't.

But, that just makes me determined to find out who's the real deal.

Sorry that Jake Locker, Rasslers and Santa didn't work out.

Maybe next time.

Sometimes

Sometimes you just don't have it.

Tonight is one of those times for me.

Tomorrow is another day

Kiko

One of our two cats is missing. Just happened suddenly on Monday night. It's now Wednesday and still no sign of him.
We put fliers out tonight and hopefully he will show up. I know cats can disappear from time to time and sometimes show up unexpectedly.

I have hope.

Not much else happening around here.

Tara and Adelaide have returned to Australia.
Jeff and Aspen, plus the pups have moved to South Carolina and seem happy.
All is quiet here.

It's about to get quieter because the most annoying neighbors in the world are moving. They are actually pretty nice folks, but they live above us and don't believe in walking in the apartment. They stomp, they jump, and they run and it's always loud no matter which means they choose to move around the unit.
They also have surround sound and seem to be really proud of it. I do have mixed feelings because we will miss the rental income and the apartment will be a mess to clean up and we have plenty of those right now.
Still, I will enjoy the peace and quiet.


In my dreams of peace and quiet, I sit here hoping Mr Kiko returns soon.

Blue sky

Middle daughter and husband just climbed in the truck and took off for South Carolina.

Damn, for lack of a better word and please forgive me Mom, but this house feels empty without them and the dogs.

Not sure how people can lose a loved one and stay in the same house. It's hard right now.

Bright side is the adventure that lies in wait for them and I am happy for them and that.

Another thing is the sky above us. Not sure when I have seen such a blue sky recently. The north winds came through leaving the sky a color that reminds me of a deep blue lake.

I have seen a few scenic lakes in my day and right now that sky makes my heart ache to see the blueness of the deep, deep water.

Loading up the car and heading out, will write more later

reflections of my life

I heard a song recently on a TV show called Reflections of My Life by Marmalade. It was recorded in 1969 originally and to be perfectly honest I don't remember the song at the time.
But, hey, I was 10 years old.

In the few weeks that this song has been reintroduced to me it has become one of my favorite songs for a couple of reasons.
The first reason is that it's just a beautiful song.

But, the timing is probably more important to me right now.
To me, the singer is saying that the world is a bad place but it's better than the other choice, death.

Why that's important to me is obvious if you know me but I am going to write about it anyway.

The world can be a hard place to live at times and choosing to get beyond all that and make the best of things is exactly what I am choosing.
In spite of chaos or pain, you just have to look at the good things in your life as well.
Start thinking about what's good and you'll come up with a number of good to great things.

Here are a few of mine that are worth living for:

My California girl
My children
Adelaide
Duke and Ella
Kiki and Lucy
Great food
Beverages
Good music
Dreams
Travel

I could go on and on.

Life is very much worth living and make the best of it.

And, yes, I will get to reflections of my own life soon.

The fortune cookie

My fortune cookie said to look forward to great fortune and a new lease on life.
Kind of crazy because I don't really put much stock in fortune cookies but that's exactly what I've been saying lately.

So, I am looking forward to great fortune and I do actually have a new lease on life already.

Long day, short night to blog.

BTW, Bruce Lee is an all time favorite. He was larger than life.

More later.

Back to Stralia

Our oldest daughter, Tara, and our only grandchild, Adelaide, are getting on a plane and heading back to Australia tomorrow.

We're going to miss them a lot, but it was great to have them here for a short time.

It's been fun to watch Adelaide grow and learn during the short time she has been back here. She loves for you to say words or phrases and she loves to repeat them. If she can't say it, she just laughs which is funny in itself.

From this, however, I am taught another lesson from a child.

We should never tire of learning. Understanding things is the key to mastering them.

If we were around another person that didn't speak English and asked them to say words and repeated them we would know more than just one language which is somewhat embarrasing.
If we had the same desire to learn as a child, or asked as many questions, is there any limit to what we can accomplish?
If we had the same work ethic as a Tiger Woods could we not be a lot better at golf than what we are?
If we had the same type of desire to cure cancer?......

My Momma told me there is no limit to what I could do. For some reason I did not believe her at the time.
Now, I do.

Is it too late?


Anyway, back to Stralia. Going to be sad, but at the same time I am glad they have the courage to see the world.

I look forward to the day we can see Stralia.

building

I love building things. It's fun to be able to create things out of nothing and I get a huge feeling of accomplishment when I have built something with my own hands.

Which explains why I like to write as well.

I also came to the conclusion tonight that I hope one million people read my blogs. Or, I hope that maybe three people happen to read what I write.
But, regardless of who reads or doesn't read, I am going to write anyway because I love this.

I write because it's fun and this gives me the excuse I was looking for to write.

Lighthouses

My fabulous female friend loved lighthouses before I did. It was her addiction that got me interested in them. But, interest in them I am.

Obviously, they were built to warn sailors of danger.

There are a number of really beautiful lighthouses and a lot more of them than I would have suspected. The more I became interested in learning about them the more I discovered just how many of them were out there and I love the history that goes along with each of them.

The lighthouse above is located on Block Island an incredibly beautiful body of land just off the coast of Rhode Island. .

Sometimes, life can have it's own lighthouses which warn us of looming danger, of hazards that lie in wait.

Sometimes, life doesn't have lighthouses. Hazards can blind side us.

My life was a shipwreck of sorts. As captain of my ship, I either missed the lighthouse or ignored it and crashed upon the rocks.

But, I survived that crash.

Tonight, my entire body feels like a shipwreck. I've been sick and work has been hard and stressful. But, it's all manageable and I feel like things are on the right track and I firmly believe that hard work always pays off in the long run.

Hard work will enable me to take my fantastically fabulous female friend to see as many of them as she wants in the future.

Tomorrow we go to DFW to see our wonderful Tara and Adelaide before they jump on a plane for Australia.

Not sure what I will be writing about then.

The Aspen

I met the Aspen when I was 27 years old and my life has never been the same.

I'll never forget the first time I met her. She was 7 years old and I had recently started dating her mother.
She came storming down the stairs rushing past her much calmer older sister, Tara, wanting to show me every one of her stuffed animals. I was happy to give them a good looking over much to her delight.
She was bouncing off the wall with energy and I was instantly amazed at how much she looked like her mom. I soon learned that she had her own very distinct personality and character.

Since that first meeting we have been pretty tight.

Also on that day I brought my own special touch to her life, I added a The to the front of her name and have called her The Aspen to this very day.

Some time in the next couple of years I adopted Tara and Aspen and it's almost as if I have been in their lives forever.

She is a very special person and I actually feel sorry for those that don't know her.

Thing is I am a very immature person and proud of it. I come from a long line of immature people and I'm ok with that. Aspen, however, is not and never really has been immature.
Which brings up the question of who raised who. From my point of view, I learned so much more from Aspen than she ever learned from me and she did wonders to mature me in ways I didn't think possible.
I'm a long term project.
I began learning from the Aspen when she was 7 and I am still learning to this day.

The Aspen excells at relationships. In other circumstances, she could be a relationship coach if such a position actually exists.
She's also an artist and very gifted in many creative ways.
Sweet and loving, she is also very encouraging to others.
Possibly the best thing among many other good things about Aspen is her great love of family, whether we actually deserve it or not.
She kind of reminds one of a puppy, full of love no matter what you have done or said wrong. She yearns to make things right which is something I can totally relate to. I like to fix things, she likes to fix people. Great thing about that is, people need fixing.
Especially me.

Do you get the idea that I kind of like the Aspen?

On Sunday, the Aspen is loading up the moving van and heading to South Carolina with her husband Jeff. If I didn't like the guy I wouldn't approve.
It's hard to not like a guy that introduces you to golf.
Not only have we got our oldest daughter and her beautiful little baby girl to Australia, but now the Aspen will join them in living far, far away.
They are taking with them the greatest dogs the world has known so far, Duke and Ella.

We are excited for them, but don't think even for a minute that we aren't going to miss them.

Aspen's Mom is pretty torn up over it.
Not I, because I am tough and very mature for my age. Yes, I am lying, but I am excited about the potential each of them face in South Carolina. I am happy for them regardless of what I am feeling inside and I know they will do well.
Who knows, some day we might even move back East ourselves looking for a place that rains and is cooler.

The Aspen is one special person, but hopefully you have figured that out for yourself by now.


Soon I will write about Tara and Tyler.

current events

Really quiet around the house these days.

All my girls are gone. Just me and my main girl and that'll do. However, right now it's a little quiet and lonely around here.

Going to get worse.

Littlest girl is heading back to Australia soon and it's been fun to have her around for a while. I knew it was only temporary, but really enjoyed her company. Of course, I am really biased but I am really fond of her and think she's the best.

I am very proud of our Tara for having the courage to pick up and move across the planet. That being said, it sure makes it hard on us to see them as much as we would like.

Our Aspen leaving just multiplies the feelings.
I'm losing my golf partner and my granddogs all in one big move.
But, I am proud of them for living the dream.

Tyler is left alone in Austin. I'm sure he'll be fine and I look for him to do something soon. Not sure what exactly, but something cool.


Speaking of golf, I really stink at it. But, I sure love playing.
I need to start playing out here in West Texas and I know I am in for a shock at the quality of the courses, but golf is golf.



A butt kicking is a butt kicking. I got my butt kicked not that long ago and I don't like losing. I promise I will be back stronger than ever. I don't want revenge. I don't want others to hurt, I just want back what was taken, mostly my dignity and pride.
Chances are I won't be getting back all that is lost, but I aim to try.
The plan hasn't been worked out just yet.

I am really tired, but I'm enjoying life as best as I can at the moment. The work is pretty hard and I am not as fast as I used to be, but I am better in some ways.
Just gets a little stressful thinking about all the work to be done and not being able to do it as quickly as before. Just wish I could have that same energy that I once had.


That's all for now, but tomorrow I think I am going to write about Aspen, dogs, and a song.

Cherokee Fiddle and Travolta

I don't have a thing in the world against John Travolta.

I just wonder why twice in the history of this great nation did a movie that he starred in change our culture dramatically.

This country was sailing along minding it's own business when, BOOM, out of the blue we got hit with this Saturday Night Fever movie that turned the USA into a bunch of disco dancing robots. Can't believe how many people I actually saw wearing a suit similar to what Travolta wore in this movie, just like in the picture above.

Disco became all the rage and hundreds of thousands of young Americans blindly followed their leader, Mr Travolta.

Disco clubs popped up on almost every corner kind of like Starbucks more recently.

Sad thing is, the movie is hardly watchable. It was horrible. At least that was my opinion of it.

Should anyone that lived in that era have been surprised when Travolta came out in a new movie called Urban Cowboy which completely altered the country once more?

It was almost a relief in some ways to people like me, but almost over night the entire nation changed from white suits and disco lights to cowboy hats and boots.

Cowboy bars like Gilley's in Houston and Billy Bob's in Fort Worth, Texas were the new hot spots and the discos were dead.

Everybody was putting aside those disco moves and learning the two step. Hundreds of thousands of Americans now wanted to be a cowboy.

OK, I am going to admit that I bought boots, too. But, I never made the crossover completely. I do know some that did and never came back.

The movie Urban Cowboy could have been even worse than Saturday Night Fever, although I am not sure since I couldn't make myself sit through it.

I am a fan of all kinds of music and some good country music came out of this time period. One of my favorites was Cherokee Fiddle by Johnny Lee.

I am not going to get into any deep meanings or why a Cherokee was living in Oklahoma. Nor, will I get into the Trail of Tears or any of the native American's treatment by our government.

I just like the song and the fiddle. Nothing much more than that.

Moon River

Even though I can't sing at all, music is such a big part of my life. A few of my blogs will be about some of my favorite songs and what they mean to me personally.

Hope you can stand it and make it through.

Moon River has long been one of my favorite songs even though I sorta consider myself a bit of a rocker. I do have my mellow side, too. And, maybe, just maybe, a romantic side.

Other than just being a beautiful song, this catches on with the free bird theme. My favorite line of the song may be "Two drifters off to see the world" and there's not much of a more free thing than being a drifter.

Not that I am aimless, or unemployed, but a drifter has little responsibility and plenty of time on his or her hands.

But, also, there are two people involved here. Forget Audrey Hepburn, I have my own favorite girl.

She also happens to want to see the world and have a lot of freedom on her hands. That was one of our favorite things about each other when we met, a desire to explore and see the world.

We've seen some and have had some fun, but unfortunately have been tied down with work and other things. We both want to find that end of the rainbow and that ever elusive pot of gold.

Huckleberry is also mentioned. Moon River being wider than a mile reminds me of Tom and Huck and the mighty Mississippi River. Nothing like rafting along on a river with no shoes on your feet and the only place to be is where the river takes you.

Moon River is a dream maker. It's also a heart breaker.

Let's face it, we all have our dreams and have also had our hearts broken. Even though we have a dream of going places and seeing things, we know we've had our hearts broken many, many times. As long as there is life, and death, there is the breaking of hearts. Yet, it doesn't stop us from pursuing.

Never going to stop yearning to drift and see the world.

Freebird

Freebird. Always in me has been a yearning for freedom as I am sure is true of most people. Sure, by most standards we are free in America but I mean a true freedom. A freedom of taxation, of responsibility, of work, of having to be at a certain place at a certain time with nobody other than my favorite lady friend telling me what to do.

Don't get me wrong. I don't like paying taxes, but gladly enjoy what this country provides for me. I am very responsible and take care of business. Work can be fun and I do it as often as I can.

But, all things being equal I'd rather just be free of those things.

I was almost there. Oh, it was so close.

Then, disaster, disaster, disaster.

Now, I am picking up the pieces and starting over. I'd like to think it's not my fault, that I was taken advantage of. But, when all is said and done I am taking full responsibility.

But, someday......

Someday I will know that true freedom I write about now. Sitting by a rocky seashore with not a worry in the world watching the waves crash upon the rocks. Just loving the sight of a good sized boat struggling to find it's way across the deep, alluring sea.

Or, sitting on the side of a mountain looking over a beautiful valley with not a thought other than just how incredibly beautiful it is.

Now, that is a freedom that keeps me going and hanging on in spite of disaster.

If there is breath still in my body, I will long for it.

These blogs will be about freedom. But, I plan on writing every day about music, movies, food, travel and maybe a few other things.

If you don't like going deep then expect not to enjoy. :)

Freebird, The Beginning

About two years ago now, my life took a horrible turn. Although, no fault of my own, well maybe it was my own fault, an investment went bad. In fact, this investment went very, very bad.
I lost a lot and was in danger of losing everything I had worked so very hard to gain.
Top that off with losing my older brother to cancer and I had by my own estimation hit rock bottom.
I had two jobs, made little money at either and had all kinds of other things go wrong of which I will not go into at this time.

The only good thing about being on rock bottom is the only way to go from there is up. The title of this blog, instead of being about finishing a beer, which I really also love to do is about coming up from the depths.
I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way up.

This is just the beginning and I will explain Freebird later when I have some actual time.