He ain't heavy II

As everyone knows by now, I currently have an MP3 player and take it with me nearly everywhere. I am now up to about 225 songs and climbing and will run out of room soon I am reasonably sure.
Today, I got to the portion of my playlist that had the song by the Hollies, 'He Aint Heavy' and it hit me pretty hard.
The thing that hit me hard is not being able to go back. Even if my brother Roger was still here, I could not go back and change things. The past is the past and you can't change that no matter what, but you can work on making things right if the person is still around.

Roger is not here and I can't make things right.

That hurts.

I was thinking of a couple of incidents while the song was going and I was overcome with grief. As I said, obviously you can't go back in time, but I wish I had been a better person and could have shut my damn mouth.
I wish I could have just walked away instead of letting things get out of hand. But, I didn't.

It's all water under the bridge now and all is forgiven, but a lot of things could have been avoided if I had only been a bigger person.

That makes me think of today. In current times, sometimes things happen around the house and I can feel myself going down that path that I don't want to go down.
When I feel a problem arising, I need to learn to walk away, to shut my damn mouth and just be the better person, to show kindness in the face of anger.


Roger is gone and I can't change anything with that. Wish I could.

But, what I can do is make things better with the people that are still here.

This blog is not so much about my brother, Roger, and how I would have liked to have carried him through hardship. But, how I wish with all my heart that I had been a better brother to him and a better brother to those that remain. It's a blog on how I would like to be a better friend to my partner the Cali Girl and to my kids and other family members.

None of you are really that heavy if I would just pick you up and start walking.