Get out the funk

Sometimes life is a mess.
My life is presently a disaster.

I am in a funk.

But, I don't want to stay in this place the rest of my life.

Today, I was challenged to come up with a plan to come out of a funk.

Before my train called life was derailed, I had hopes and dreams. One of the steps of my plan would probably be to restore those hopes and dreams. Maybe before my goals were set too high. I plan on setting new goals that are actually attainable.
When I went into real estate I joined a huge company down in Austin. The hype in that place was unreal. It was kind of like a permanent pep rally. Goals were a big deal and I was taught to set goals for number of deals closed monthly.
Sorry, but that's baloney. Setting yourself up for failure is all you are doing in that scenario. All you can really do is set yourself up to close so many deals per month, the rest is out of your control.

Setting attainable goals is one of my steps.


Travelling is another step.

Much like setting goals, travelling gives you something to look forward to and then it gives you fantastic memories.

Speaking of memories, when my Dad was dying we were all sitting around reflecting on good times. We spoke of this and that and after an embarrassingly short time we realized that we had run out of good memories. How sad.
Creating adventures and hopefully good memories is vital.

Another thing I plan to add to my list of steps, is exercise. I work hard these days physically but it's not really exercise. If I can at least gets some walking in I would probably feel a lot better about my future

I have a few more ideas I am toying with but the big thing is I have a plan and it's been awhile for me. I want to blog more, maybe read a few more books and watch a few more movies but things that can make me look beyond myself at times.

Mulligan

One of the great things about playing golf as a beginner is the word 'mulligan'.

If you have never played golf you would probably not know what the word mulligan means. A mulligan is just basically taking another shot when you mess one up.

Don't you just sometimes wish life was like golf? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to take another shot when you screw something up? Just line up and hit the ball again and hope for a better result because the last one was very bad.

Oh, if I could just take a mulligan right now. Actually, I need several mulligans.
If I could just go back and take a nay instead of a yeah with Maravilla Homes which was an extremely bad investment. If I could take a pass with a certain development in Fort Worth which I had a whole lot of money stolen. If I could take back some things I have said to the Cali Girl.
A big ole mulligan would be nice right about now.

It's not just the money that bothers me, even though honestly that is a big, fat nuisance. The big thing is the results from this just won't go away. The hits just keep coming and coming and they just won't stop.
Every time I turn around, some other negative result from the disasters which have overcome my life show up out of the blue. Just when you think the worst is behind you, something else comes up. Doesn't seem like this will go away until everything I have left is gone.

If life was golf, I would just take a mulligan and do everything over.
Unfortunately, it's not quite that simple and I am left to pick up the pieces. If only the pieces would stop getting knocked out of my hand every time I think I have them picked up already.

The Omen

The Omen is a creepy movie that scared the crap out of me.

This blog is not about that creep show and I will never speak of that again.

When I was involved with karate years ago there was an old man that came to the class I was in. I'm not sure how he survived it but the old guy hung in there like a warrior.

We had to do a certain exercise while another person was required to hold your feet until you finished it.

Well, the old man always farted while he did his exercise. Always, and without exception he would pass gas and it was really close to the person holding his feet, obviously.

Even more obviously, nobody wanted to hold his feet.

I had to hold them a few times but my friends and I deceptively moved away when the time came allowing an unsuspecting new guy the privilege of holding his feet and smelling his glamorous poots.

After a few weeks of this, I started calling the old man 'the Omen' as a shorter version of 'the old man' and because his farts were pretty scary. My friends fell over laughing when they heard it and I still think it's funny to this day.

I feel bad that I don't even remember the man's name and that we just called him the Omen.

Every time I hear the title The Omen, I think of that man. But, also when somebody lets one go accidentally I think of him.

I am getting closer to the Omen that I would like to admit and some day I will also pass gas while some unsuspecting young person has to experience it.

I respected the old guy for putting himself through karate classes at his age and I am sure he has been gone for a long time.

I hope he knows I meant no harm by calling him the Omen and thought highly of him in spite of having to sniff against my will.

I hope someday when I am his age that I am half as game as he was.

I also hope that you enjoy the smell.

He ain't heavy II

As everyone knows by now, I currently have an MP3 player and take it with me nearly everywhere. I am now up to about 225 songs and climbing and will run out of room soon I am reasonably sure.
Today, I got to the portion of my playlist that had the song by the Hollies, 'He Aint Heavy' and it hit me pretty hard.
The thing that hit me hard is not being able to go back. Even if my brother Roger was still here, I could not go back and change things. The past is the past and you can't change that no matter what, but you can work on making things right if the person is still around.

Roger is not here and I can't make things right.

That hurts.

I was thinking of a couple of incidents while the song was going and I was overcome with grief. As I said, obviously you can't go back in time, but I wish I had been a better person and could have shut my damn mouth.
I wish I could have just walked away instead of letting things get out of hand. But, I didn't.

It's all water under the bridge now and all is forgiven, but a lot of things could have been avoided if I had only been a bigger person.

That makes me think of today. In current times, sometimes things happen around the house and I can feel myself going down that path that I don't want to go down.
When I feel a problem arising, I need to learn to walk away, to shut my damn mouth and just be the better person, to show kindness in the face of anger.


Roger is gone and I can't change anything with that. Wish I could.

But, what I can do is make things better with the people that are still here.

This blog is not so much about my brother, Roger, and how I would have liked to have carried him through hardship. But, how I wish with all my heart that I had been a better brother to him and a better brother to those that remain. It's a blog on how I would like to be a better friend to my partner the Cali Girl and to my kids and other family members.

None of you are really that heavy if I would just pick you up and start walking.

Why I love Winter

I watch the weather channel every morning when I get up. It's become a habit and I know all the people on the weather channel by name by now.
I may be a little weird, but I am not stalking the weather channel people, I promise.

This week the weather channel is having a series called 'I love winter'.

They don't ask me but I want to tell them why I love winter, too.

I live in Texas.
It's freaking hot here, sometimes brutally so and I don't like heat. I'm not going to go into all the reasons I don't like heat but there are many.

In Texas, winters are mild. It can get cold at times, but most of the time it is rather warm. But, its not 100 degrees.
Biggest reason I love winter is it's not 100 degrees.

Weather is interesting in the winter time. Like I already wrote, it can be cold or it can be warm but there is a wide range of temps with a possibility of snow or other differing weather. In the summer, you have hot then you have hotter.
Three days ago here, it was 80 degrees, then the next day it was 38 for a high. Then, it was coldish again yesterday and today there is a possibility of rain with freezing rain possible tomorrow.
That's interesting to me. Summer sameness is boring.

You'll thank people like me when you go to Cancun, but fat people don't need to have their shirts off. I am a fat person, so I don't need to go to a beach and take my shirt off. So, I like clothes. A jacket is cool and I like long sleeved shirts. I can only wear those in the winter and thus, another reason I love winter.

Believe me the next time you are at the beach and there's a fat person walking around you'll wish more folks were like me.

Another thing that I love about winter is a fire in my fireplace. Nothing is quite as relaxing and comforting as a nice, blazing fire in your fireplace.

Lucky me, I now have a fireplace and I currently have a fire going because it's 30 degrees outside.

I love that about winter. Wish there were more cold nights in Texas.

People often think I am a nut, but I'd like to live up north. Or, at least somewhere that actually has a real winter. I love snow. I haven't had to shovel it so I haven't seen the negative side of it.
But, as I watch the weather channel every morning I look at what's happening in the regions of the USA that has interesting weather I long to be a part of it.
I don't have an interest in Florida or Texas or anywhere that is the same old same old day after day.

Maybe I am a freak, but I like colder than what Florida can give me. Hey, if you like it you can go down and live with those freaks. I'll pass.

However, as much as I like the northern climate, I am stuck in Texas and might as well make the best of it.

So, let's just say that I love winter because it's not freaking hot.
I'll at least take that for now.

Someday Never Comes

Someday Never Comes is one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite all time bands, CCR.

I am reasonably sure this song is about a personal tragedy in the lead singer's life. His parents got divorced and the dad told him as he was going away that some day the son would understand. But, some day never came.
Then, history repeated itself when the lead singer also got divorced and he had to tell his own son to be a man and that some day he would understand. People really never do understand and some day never really comes.

My own life has been about some day. I have been a professional investor and investing is all about the future. I have always said some day things would be great and that all the work would pay off.
Now, it's not looking like some day will come.
I always had certain dates circled on the calender in my mind about when this event would happen or some other event would take place.
Then, things got messed up. Blame it on myself. Blame it on the economy. Blame it on whatever you like, but I am starting to wonder what if.......



Someday never comes.

Shane come back!!!!

The movie Shane is a classic, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. A stinking classic.

One of the great examples of the even greater Hollywood myths about the old West and gunfighters.

I wrote a paper about this movie in college and not only did I get an A on the paper, but the professor read my work in front of the entire class.
A proud moment, no doubt, but just writing about a movie I loved was fun.

This movie is about a rather well traveled gunslinger wanting to change his life. If a person doesn't care for westerns or the gunfighting subject, this movie is set right at the base of the Grand Teton mountain range in Wyoming and that's worth sitting through the drama in itself. A more beautiful setting would be hard to imagine.
It's a classic confrontation between the large cattle baron and the farmers trying to make lives for themselves in the old west.
Shane jumps on the side of the farmers and takes off his rather stylish gunfighting garb in exchange for farming clothes.

The cattle baron brings in a hired gunfighter played by Jack Palance in probably his best role ever.
The confrontation between Shane and the Jack Palance character was an all time great.


Possibly the greatest line in the entire movie happens when the movie is ending. The little boy chasing after Shane yelling for Shane to come back home is legendary.
When the boy tries to get Shane to remain a farmer at the end, Shane tells him (my own words) that a 'man can't change and he has to be what he is'.

Obviously, like most 50s Westerns, the good guy wins out in the end and all is well.

Shane wore his gunfighting outfit into the night and remained who he was meant to be.


Like Shane, I also tried to change. Didn't work out so well for me either.

Now, I am going to be what I am.


No sense in delaying.